Congrats! Someone in your life is expecting and it’s time to plan the shower. It sounds simple, right? Until you realize there are a lot of unspoken rules. Baby showers are a beautiful celebration of a new life coming into the world, but the etiquette around them can be confusing and contradictory. If you’re not sure who should plan, pay, or make the guest list, this is the guide for you.
Who Plans the Baby Shower?
Traditionally, baby showers are hosted by a close friend, cousin, or even a coworker. Anyone except for immediate family. However, today, things have relaxed a bit. Of course, friends still frequently host showers. But it is completely acceptable for sisters, mothers, mothers-in-law, or even the parents-to-be themselves to throw the party.
Remember: No matter who hosts, the mom-to-be should have a say in the guest list and the style of the party.
Who Pays for the Baby Shower?
As with most showers and parties, the host pays for the event. If it’s a group effort, like several friends or family members teaming up, the costs are typically split.
Remember: Hosts should plan a party within their means. While it’s important to capture the excitement of the occasion, baby showers don’t have to be extravagant. A cozy brunch, a backyard picnic, or a flower-and-balloon-filled meeting room is just as meaningful as an Insta-worthy blowout.
Who Gets Invited?
The guest list can be a little tricky. But the golden rule should always be followed: invite only the people the parents-to-be are genuinely close to and who would be happy to celebrate their new arrival. This could be:
- Close family
- Good friends
- Coworkers (However, if there was already an office shower, it’s okay to skip the second invite)
- Neighbors, teachers, or folks from church
Remember: Always let the parents-to-be approve the final guest list. It saves everyone from those “Why wasn’t I invited?” conversations later on.
Should you invite kids? Sure! If you want. If your group includes a lot of parents with young children, offering a kid-friendly party option can be a nice touch. But it certainly isn’t mandatory.
What About Gift Registries?
Gift registries are fine (and helpful). Hosts can include registry information on a separate insert for mailed invitations or link to it in digital invitations.
Remember: Guests aren’t required to purchase from the registry, but it’s appreciated because it ensures gifts are useful. For those who prefer to go off-registry, sentimental gifts, like books or handmade items, are always winners.
Is It Okay to Have More Than One Shower?
Of course! There are tons of scenarios when this is completely appropriate (and encouraged). If friends or family are scattered across different cities or social circles, or if in-laws prefer not to intermingle, hosting separate events can be a lot less stressful.
It’s not uncommon for a mom-to-be to have one shower with family, another with friends, and even a small office celebration. However, with the exception of a few people close to the parents, don’t double-dip on the guest list. One person doesn’t need to go to multiple showers.
Should the Dad-to-Be Attend?
Historically, baby showers were strictly ladies-only. But today, co-ed, or “Jack and Jill” showers are becoming more popular. There isn’t any etiquette rule against the dad-to-be being there! In fact, a co-ed shower can often take a more relaxed route of a backyard barbecue or a dinner out.
Conclusion
Baby showers aren’t all about following the “rules.” They’re about celebrating a new life being brought into the world. Keep your focus on what makes the parents-to-be feel loved and supported. Forget the “rules” and aim for a celebration that feels authentic to the couple and sends them off on their next adventure.
