It takes a lot of work to plan and wedding, and that work doesn’t end when it’s your wedding day. While the day of is a certainly a time for celebration, it’s also a time for getting ready and getting your wedding party ready. That takes work, too! (Even if it’s also really fun.) Hiring a personal attendant for your wedding day can relieve some of the day-of pressures and jitters, giving you and your wedding party more time to relax and have fun. Plus, they can help out if you have a last-minute crisis, like a minor tear. In this post, we’ll answer all your burning questions about personal wedding attendants, so you can see if you need one yourself.
What is a personal wedding attendant?
A personal wedding assistant is someone who tends to the bride, groom, and/or wedding party on the wedding day. Other terms for personal attendants include lady in waiting, bridal assistant, and personal concierge. While some people ask friends or family members to be a personal attendant, we don’t recommend that. Instead, we suggest hiring a third-party who will be able to focus completely on assisting you—not torn between helping and celebrating.
Wedding attendants typically arrive in the morning with the bride, and they’ll usually stay until the ceremony. In some cases, they may stay through the ceremony and help out during the photo shoot. But that’s up to you! It’s important to understand that a wedding attendant is not a wedding planner or coordinator—they’re more like personal assistants on the day.
What does a personal attendant do?
Because attendants are more like personal assistants, they help out with various needs and tasks for your wedding party. Some examples include:
- Get the wedding party coffee, champagne, or snacks
- Pick up breakfast or lunch orders
- Prep items, like the dress, for photographing
- Pack an emergency kit
- Help the bride get into her dress, bustling the dress, or helping her change into the reception dress
- Distribute vendor tips
- Stitch minor garment tears
- Touch up the dress, hair, or makeup for photos
All in all, their goal is to make your wedding day easy, so you can focus on relaxing.
What doesn’t a personal attendant do?
Remember, wedding attendants aren’t planners, so they won’t help with any details before your big day. Similarly, they won’t help with event coordination of the day of. That means no laying out place cards or greeting guests. In most cases, your guests won’t ever meet your wedding attendant. Attendants also won’t help the caterer or the florist decorate; overall, they won’t talk much with the vendors, either. (Unless, of course, they’re passing out your tips.)
Why can’t the wedding party help with these tasks?
Your wedding party is more than capable to distribute vendor tips, bring the emergency kit, and keep you looking fresh during photos. In fact, these are common duties of the maid/man of honor or a best maid/man. But your wedding party also wants to enjoy this special day with you. And they’ve probably already spent a lot of time and money on your bachelor(ette) parties and wedding shower. It’s nice to give them a break, and leave some mundane—but necessary and helpful—tasks to your personal attendant.
What is the difference between a personal attendant and a wedding planner? What about a day-of coordinator?
A personal attendant is only available on the day of your wedding—and only for the morning and sometimes the ceremony. They’ll absolutely help you with pouring champagne and getting ready, but they won’t coordinate with vendors or be accessible to the guests. On the other hand, a wedding planner is with you during the entire planning process. They’ll work closely with vendors before and during your wedding, and they may even greet guests, too.
Similarly, a day-of coordinator is there to help with wedding tasks. They may fetch you more champagne, but they’re more likely going to help set up place cards, make sure all the decorations are set, and help if any last-minute emergencies happen. Day-of coordinators are sort of a blend between personal attendants and wedding planners, but they won’t be available for your every need like an attendant. And they won’t help you plan ahead of time, either, like a wedding planner will.
How much does a wedding attendant cost?
The cost to hire a wedding attendant varies widely by location and by how long you’ll need their services. One shop in Delaware charges a minimum of $425 for four hours of help. But if you need their services for more than four hours, it will, of course, cost more. And that’s just Delaware—prices in Los Angeles or Boston will probably be higher. Because budget is an important part of your wedding, we recommend requesting a quote from some nearby companies to see what your budget should be.
How do you know if you need a wedding attendant?
Most couples don’t hire a wedding attendant, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t! If you have a large wedding party, it might be nice to have some extra help steaming dresses and picking up food. Plus, you won’t want one bridesmaid to feel left out if they’re on pick-up duty.
Similarly, if you don’t want your wedding party helping out, then hire someone else to help! Your wedding party has probably spent a lot of time and money on pre-wedding events and presents. Instead of asking them to fix your train and touch up your makeup between photos, you can let them enjoy the celebration.
Finally, you should make sure you have the budget for a wedding attendant before you make your decision. We recommend requesting a quote from some nearby companies to see if there’s room in your budget.
Hiring a wedding attendant can relieve your wedding party from the pressure of helping you out on your big day. Of course they’re happy to help. But you also want to make sure they’re able to celebrate and have fun, too. While a wedding attendant is only at your event for 4-6 hours, they’re there during the critical parts, like getting ready and taking photos. If you want the extra help—and have the budget—it’s a great addition to your big day.
Have you ever been to a wedding that had a lady in waiting? Would you consider hiring a wedding attendant yourself?