There’s nothing like the newly-engaged bubble. After all of the waiting and wondering, you finally have a shiny rock on your hand and the promise of a happily ever after.
But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. From tight budgets and tough family dynamics, the engagement period can be stressful and bring up unexpected questions or concerns. Just ask Annie in Father of the Bride — blender, anyone?
Wedding planning only adds to the stress, especially when you’re not working as a team. Here are five ways to divide wedding planning tasks so you can enjoy your engagement bubble.
Plan your priorities
Your dream wedding is just that: your dream. Chances are, your partner has a different vision for his or her wedding day.
Before you assign any responsibilities, have an open conversation about what each of your non-negotiables are. Maybe you’ve always dreamed of a live wedding band while your partner could care less. Or, maybe your partner has strong feelings about the dinner and drinks menu while you would be fine eating PB&J.
Choose your top priorities and own the responsibilities associated with it.
Play to your strengths
Likewise, each of you has your own set of skills that can help streamline wedding planning. Make a list of every task that needs to be done and decide which of you two is better poised to tackle the project. For example:
- Are you tech-savvy? Take charge of the wedding website.
- Social butterfly? Organize the guest list and welcome party.
- Obsessed with points and miles? Plan the honeymoon.
- Eye for design? Work on the centerpieces and day-of decorations.
Contrary to popular belief, wedding planning involves more than cake tasting and dress shopping! Lean on your respective strengths to knock out your to-do list in the most effective and efficient way.
Turn it into a game
If you need some extra motivation, you can turn wedding planning into a game with checkpoints and prizes. For every major task you accomplish, reward yourself with a date at your favorite restaurant or a couple’s massage.
You could also keep it simple with a game like Rock, Paper, Scissors or your favorite video game. Write major wedding planning tasks on a piece of paper and select one from a bowl at random. Play the game to determine who is responsible for the selected task and let fate decide your responsibilities.
Gamifying the wedding planning process can help reduce stress and encourage you to keep getting things done. Win-win!
Treat it like work
At work, you plan meetings to check in on major projects and initiatives. Why not do the same for your wedding? Set aside one night each week (or month, depending on how long your engagement is) to review wedding tasks.
Keep a running checklist of who is responsible for which tasks and bring status updates to each meeting. You could also create a shared Notion page, Trello board, or Slack workspace to store all wedding-related updates and communications. Create different channels for topics like #budget, #catering, and #guest-list to help keep track of everything.
Details can slip through the cracks when they’re scattered across email, text, and random pieces of paper. Digital tools can help you stay organized and access important wedding information at home or on the go.
Take a break
Similarly, set aside time to remember why you’re planning a wedding in the first place! Designate one night each week or one weekend each month as a no-wedding zone and spend quality time together as a couple.
Give yourselves a break from wedding planning and just enjoy being engaged for a few hours. You’ll feel rested and rejuvenated when you jump back into planning mode.
Wedding planning 101
Before you divide and conquer, make sure you’re on the same page about major things like your wedding budget and date. This will give you the confidence to make decisions and own your tasks without constantly checking in with each other.
That being said, don’t forget to run major decisions by your partner! Just because you’re sharing the load doesn’t mean you should ignore their opinion. Little surprises on your wedding day can be fun, but no one wants to be completely caught off guard.
Rachel Kauffman is a Detroit-based content writer, bookworm, and cat mom to two feisty felines.
